Much has to do with our hectic life style, which is especially pronounced in societies that demand material success from the people who live in them. General unhappiness and burnout can lead to greater levels of fear and anxiety because when we are in a state of arousal, emotions such as fears are felt stronger. Although fear and anxiety have neurobiological and neurophysiological characteristics, they are to a large degree determined by information that is available to you from inside and outside your body.
Someone sends you an email that asks you to get something done "or else". The information we process and how we process it, depends to a large extent on the information we are exposed to in the world. Many people do not understand that this is where they have influence and can bring about change. We have wider control over the messages we are exposed to than many people believe. Many people who suffer from anxieties and fears have difficulties with saying "No", and this also brings with it difficulties in saying "Yes".
Some fears have an obvious interpersonal aspect, actually all have to do with communication in some way, but there are various kinds of fears. There are defined fears of specific situations and events, such as a fear of spiders or a fear of heights. You may be able to link one directly to a concrete experience, while others seem a complete mystery, like a fear of heights or a fear of open spaces, elevators, airplanes, or groups of people. On the other side, there are the generalized fears and anxieties that can embrace many areas in life, even to the point of fear of life itself. This is actually what many people suffer from, a fear of life itself, which makes so many things in life difficult that should actually be enjoyable and wonderful.
Once we understand that it is the information in the form of messages we are exposed to or have been exposed to, which can bring about fears then we already have the key to bring about change. To be more precise these messages have to be "meaningful", thus bringing about change in the recipient. If you are exposed to messages that do not have the power to affect you then they literally cannot touch you, stress you or trigger any feelings within you. It is like sitting at the sea and listening to the wild conversations of seagulls. If you have listened for a while you may get used to their cries and while it may be relaxing, their chatter no longer moves you one way or another. If, however, you are trained on bird calls, an ornithologist perhaps, you may detect ever new patterns in their cries, which can lead to endless excitement. This just shows that we have influence over how messages affect us by varying the amount of information we detect in someone else's message. If you read between the lines that the writer of an email does not have a problem with you but with someone else, the email's impact on you will differ widely.
In the next article I will discuss an important first step in looking at one's fears. Knowing what is good for you is an important first step.
—Interesting books on communication by this and other authors: astore.amazon.co.uk/chrihaveltd-21 or search for "Christian Jonathan Haverkampf" on your local Amazon website or at your local book dealer. Suggestions for further explorations in communication: www.chrishaverkampf.com, www.ivy-experts.com and www.communicationweb.co. You may also want to take a look at the following sites: www.chrishaverkampf.de (deutsch), www.chrishaverkampfcoaching.com, www.chrishaverkampfcoaching.de (deutsch), www.selfhelpnet.co, www.wordfields.com (adventures), and www.wordnets.com (success stories).
© 2013 Christian Jonathan Haverkampf. All rights reserved. Unauthorized reproduction and/or dissemination prohibited. Please note that no professional advice of any sort can be given in this blog. Always consult a professional if the situation and/or the risks warrant it. Thank you for your interest in my work. This means very much to me. Trademarks belong to their respective owners. If this article is marked as a work of fiction all references to persons, living or deceased, or organizations, including former ones, are coincidental. I know that this is reiterating the obvious, but thanks for bearing with me.